And so, at last.....

 But what does off-grid mean?

Aside.... 

I care about "off-grid" I don't care about "mindfulness"

 and i certainly don't care about "wellbeing" meaning eating well enough - as little refined sugar as possible, loadsa sunshine which we can obtain even in February in UK if suntraps are identified  - not a luxury in my life as i live in the coldest cave in Christendom a-winter, and over fifty unless you (to quote BC of the Ittiness) sweat at least three times a week or at least do fifty miles either walking hilly hills or cycling around the same hilly roads on the oldest most ungeared bike possible, you will die....or at least your immune system will be not as tuned up as those lovely little lovely little Kalahari bushbabes who actually do i believe live a long and smiley life. 

ps i write in the sunshine so cannot even see the screen for typoes. we may get back to them later. Oops i said i would do that a few months rattling out stuff on The Sublime but haven't yet. Remembering our failures is indeed the only kind of purpose to "mindfulness" i am aware of and as that includes hypocrisies and lies and bullshit promises well i know it doesn't work because i even know a few of the fee paid Queens of it all.... oh my how their potting sheds aren't that mindfully kept tidy....

I know as i had a job where i would go around tidying them up for them when they are too busy ripping folk off via zoom or £10 for a walk around their park in a group.

"off-grid" i care about so much i even did a google with quotation marks around either "off-grid" or "offgrid" or "off grid" to see which may have the largest hit rate - i.e. be some 'norm' ... i care. I never waste a second.

But i care that the off-gridder can do off-grid always .... which is why the recent trends in off-gridding are indeed bullshit at several levels.

Firstly you basically need almost NOTHING. No kit - just the very most basics. Even brand name kit falls to bits these days anyway - and i can fix ANYthing...

More important 'best laid plans'..... and it is a pandemic of narcissism to assume you are immune. Nope someone will sooner or later come and, to put it in less painful terms than say lie in court about you - that hurts...and the hurt lasts....fuck you up your arse. Which always costs lots of money.

So, simplify. That is the religion of it all.  Also be low key. The amount of super twee new 'tiny homes' type of off-grid youtube i cannot believe, they don't have baddies who will break in in their regions too. There are baddies everywhere. Farmers even you have a deal with on rent arears who will then  bubble over with their inner angst prior to the deal expiring and smash something. 

Anyway ohh we have some stories that illustrate all you ever need to know about off-grid that lasts... through baddies, weirdos, state attacks, the lot...

As i ran out today, wonderful huge pile of rent arrears, i can handle in time, but the point is i know it is time to let certain things out as i am ready to enjoy it. Kairos is a splendid word.  But the thing is ALL buggering about with anything  makes it take ten times longer - disturbs the flow, i may not have written the best sentences ever this morning but i have not stopped typing sat in the sunshine for two hours. I mean not stopped even to think. Get it done...and then go for a shower in the river...

And it is the simplification into several small quick escape bags that takes years perhaps to train oneself - always... small purple bag for leads headphones etc which are an optional item unless one just may be using electronics for more than a few hours; 'shopping bag which also has colourful hanky tied at back of head as 'mask' can also double up as snotrag if all my alleged 'conditions' bubble back ... that is the every day is a new day bag so just take bits and bobs may get to that day.  And small backpack with standard items in standard places.

SO far so dull. It is however an art when so so so many peeps bullshit so much - which one may just have meant something and require actual attendance there? do i need to shave before that encounter?  Similarly boring without good fun stories.

But off-grid and actual mindfulness combine in one simple moment just half an hour ago. 

When Dell rip you off and a new computer albeit paid monthly on the never never which really did become WONDERFUL never last spring is so shit despite being £700 the battery is already starting to fail, well get your one essential in place always the cheap £20 ac charger. You will almost always only need 300 w. Hoovers are not part of simple living anyway it is so much more mindful to hear the scraping of a sturdy handbrush - if you can still get one.

But then just now and again I - that is 'I' not some fairy, will lazily fuck up, and despite the small electrical  element onboard as backup for when even modern slightly fancy camping gaz units are so crap that new ones leak,  not look at the wattage of such a  small unit  - and i am no good on electrics, and blow the fuse... that is me blow the fuse...

not only is that mindful - accepting no one else blew that fuse and i must learn from the 'moment' have the simplest ever few backup plans well thought through - such as a spare Sellotape in with fair quality Sellotape into an obvious place so that when you are writing 5 webpages at the same time you will quite easily find it. And it will still be intact and cannot have been damaged.

You must also while we are at it be aware that every single tech spiv and marketeer and shareholder just got more weaselish. And that means the nice one down the road who goes a courtin with your favourite daughter too.

We have for some years been listening to legal requirements in law to comply with one charger fits all bullshit.... oh how nasty you will say like a bimbo (male term originally so taint sexist) 

They're clever and nastier than you will ever know - i am expert of some of it. Eg for  ethical/moral reasons can crack windows 10.  Oh no what they have done is have special ONLY fit one type of phone if you wish to 'supercharge'. Supercharging takes an hour perhaps from flat.  Charging via your girlfriends charger that fits ... and charges..takes 5 hours... 

So you still need two superchargers as one will also break in the real world. And that is just for one phone. Never mind if you need two. And were lied to about Huawei by your best most cherished, loved, enjoyed, valued and respected,  Grasshopper. SO needed to move on from that worst software in the history of software ever. But the old one we can still use for the creditors. And thus not bother to turn on very often. Bliss... they no longer pester even hahh hahhh...paradise.

Back to the point

In fact another thing comes to mind. Basically anyone under 40 or almost 50 should stay off the internet in a content provider capacity. In other words your own original good stuff. Because unless some snippet is so tried and tested over many years and through many a fiery baptism, many of them only come in your 40s, there is indeed no real joy sharing anything. I have things to share i know will give me only real joy. Here. One day. maybe even soonish. Because they they do always give joy sharing.  And i don't need comments so i must remember to turn them off in this completely fresh new page... i only decided dawn today to start on.

Mindfulness means you do not need to plan because you lived genuine change. And know it is real. And thus it stays in your bonce without show-off meditation. Its remarkable how there are fairies but YOU just need to get out of their way. 

Which brings me to real change and mindfulness. With a bit of off-grid. 

Firstly mindfulness is a flawed business model. As you can never even know what items off any 'menu' will over time be the items you know evolved, pacified, caused ...no we don't say 'growth'. Actual adjustments.

One cannot know. And the deal is you cannot be guided by anyone else. You only need 'license' to be some self that is somehow a you that works. 

Getting a bit close to the problem there.... because 'we are all unique spirits / every child is different' is the problem.

Take the following briefest example. 

Badly written in a hurry and i have shame as it is my best fable of about ten.

Long ago my own only 'neurosis' or most would call neuro unique foible was always wishing, neigh having, a quick shower after a bath. I never use chemicals in any bath ever  except one bar of simplest soap. But of course the mucky water still contained something not quite paradise. 

I cannot recall why my habit changed but after always in any cirx having that shower - even if it was just a jug of clean water over the head as i egressed the bath, one day not too long ago i realised i had just stopped that habit....   and no mater how much i experiment on myself i cannot return my head to that previous setting. I think i know the real reasons of the head. One day i shall ponder further.

But it does sort of link into ...well the amount of especially mindfulness attendees these days  - ok most of them don't have husbands working in the arms trade in secret so they cannot afford the true goddess versions who state that 'their' makeup is such that they cannot handle 'bad energy' or one or other unique characteristics they have. Well if he was caught and they get done for money laundering too it is extraordinary in fact how few people die in the slammer from things like sharing a  room with someone with 'bad energy'. Or if they are middle class don't egress said slammer stating they did find some value in the situation being they were told to fuck off regarding all their fussiness's and other such.  A somewhat mindful experience.  Unless of course you believe so avidly that mindfulness must be to the paid-for model which sadly and i do mean sadly so many seem to. That needs changing. And i can.

But really it is just that moment when maybe living super simple off-grid you start to say to yourself each time something goes wrong - the kettle that burns out as there was inadequate water, " did that... remember i did that... most problems can be avoided if i slow down and don't waste my time chasing other things that no matter how supposedly reward laden they are never ever feel as lovely as that - well at least the second or third time " yes certain things are out of kilter like maybe ongoing malicious prosecutions [magistrate confirmed] ... but still i need to stay centred such as i take care not to break stuff...almost all broken stuff is due me... i have failed to get that calm and the silly music i had on last night under my pillow as i forgot the cassette player may overheat and chew up the tape so i don't have that any more...that was my faulty too..."

And yes the modern world is so marketing spiv and lying best grasshopper infested it is often extremely hard to know which of the few 'essential' products we may need are robust or may keep working, but still beating the system is so lovely and good fun - all humans feel that if they achieve it...all humans are more or less the same deep down or in certain universal potentials...its just a load of self serving bimbos told you otherwise... so they may gain from it.  Which became more or less the history of the Uk the last 30 years. 

But that is for another day and maybe even the 'end'. For now stick to off-grid. When you have it 'right' it is fabulous. I didn't have time or peace of mind to rattle out 2000 or more words just now. Until i remembered just how good at this - 5 minutes of engine so put ALL that needs charging on the adaptor plugged into the £20 a/c unit ... before turning on the motor that means best bang for buck always.  Its so satisfying indeed if it is real - if i don't get this right i may starve again in a few weeks, is real.... it so zenlike clears the mind of all but what matters.

Oh yes there is a mindfulness tip - absolutely NO one seems to be able to get this one even when their children are about to be stolen so that they will be farmed out to a foster parent who gets paid many thousands probably 100 thous and when the kid goes off age 18 they never even get a christmas card from their only...attachment (must record her speaking on radio 4  a few weeks back...i believe her...)

you live in a far more horrid country than you pretend. SO find, seek, roam, crusade in fact, for just the few left who have a heart and fuckin good organisation skills too. One will die without t'other...

My how my 'weave' skills have actually improved...Mrs BFATA nom film director when she said ten years back i could be very poetical and she got it.... nope, no admiration ever ever ever does you any good. Just distracts. This is me and my god and she is bizarrely on side its laughable, except in one dept...you simply never ever get any help with the toughest nut to crack of them all... we all need someone in our...bubble. No 'fate' does not exist. I wrote and researched that book as an objective and subjective person all in one.

Unless (ts and cs) my universe or hologram is unique and has different rules to 'yours'. Which is not beyond the realms of advanced physics  - which i do understand, so all words are pants in the end. Maybe even beginning. Oh how wonderful it is to hear Lee state the laws of physics themselves may indeed change over time. Right fuckin wonky that's going to make the modern brain... imagine the 'mental health' crisis all that lack of 'control' will engender... cos you all are obsessed with the one word (every legal case now features the stories) that 'c' word... that's exactly the opposite of what true healing is...

appreciating we never had it and cannot either...

OH PS... my recent 'work' is inspired by a few individuals. i forget them now they are so forgettable - oh yes that name, of mine 20's,  the ultimate two faced - gosh that flirting (fact) combined with what sought a little wise conversation, so mutually enjoyed - as she says, and then the complete  acedia in what next - actual help with a  rare animal in trouble not far from her gaff. Oh we had a few of them.  Then the ultimate schmoozer after she had such careful compliment as did her hubby. Blanks the free trees offer.  Oh and  a few others.  Freedom is knowing that there is absolutely no hope ever even people seemingly on side the nicer ones ever ever following anything through or remembering their promises not followed through. I have a list of the few i made over 15 years i failed to deliver on. I still look through it. It is not masochism. It is called being self aware. Most have pretty good excuses appended but even then ...

 Indeed if you ask me there is no actual 'self' if so many selves say all sorts of quite important things but hardly ever follow through or remember what they said...

there is only one chant of the maybe mindful "say what you mean and mean what you say" and as the most damaging man ever so damaged me and the only little human ever truly loved though i loved the others just as much but she must never know that, actually introduced that phrase to my breakfast table some 15 years ago ... not making those words ever about someone so damaging and hurtful indeed adopting them despite him...is also the only proof you are mindful.... no one ever ever doesn't have one thing useful.... never make or take anything personal...

at which point all of mindfulness ceases to exist and they have to give the lorryloads of cash back ... because i never met one who gets that. People do matter and we do have to find some way of making up with all of them always... 

Bullshit off-grid and mindfulness and wellbeing and all that

 Now  this is the part of my writing empire of dust that I shall enjoy.

This has life, only.

It may sound a pretty sour kind of title. It is aimed only at 'good'. 

You shall see. Each word is written with only a smile - the real not painted on variety, and the centeredness and peace in the scribblers heart, gut. aura,   blob of 'conscious agent'  to quote The Hoff - i like him, is real. It can be tested in person any time except after 8.30pm when i always nod off to a splendid 7 or 8 hrs shut eye. Undisturbed. And any issue in life  - those which most would see as red rag, or somehow reduction in 'respect', i walk away from every one. Zen if you must. Which does come from a pretty thoughtful many year understanding of the soul via GOOD literature and some great science (tip unless the scientist like Donald Hoffman, and   Smolin of late constantly   reminds everyone they may be completely wrong, it is not good science).

One small lie thus far. The only one that there will be. Whist i do not really like the blog form though it is nothing really new Montaigne was at it centuries back, I do like just practicing writing on online platforms others may stumble across, in other words in 'public'. 

  Though i never ever push anything i write out to anyone except a few specifically chosen people i may occasionally email. People i just somehow think of as maybe worth 'inviting'. The 'gutsy' maybe. I don't do that often. Likely this is the last little phase of that ever. I mean ever in my life.

So yes the lie. As of May 2020 i discovered so many wonderful new silver linings - real ones, not made up for some facebook 'meme' that just makes you iller and weirder all that facebook,  Despite a big wound that festers now and again - figuratively speaking all was not just 'well' all was at last true sublime paradise. Rest, Others maybe dismounting their high horses, others maybe time to talk at last. 

I let go... that's a mindfulness term i guess but needs explaining later. I started to do many things i knew were pure and ideal - make new friends even if deep down it was likely they would retreat back behind their masks and their smiles would again be painted on to that many year old mask.

SO yes despite living in a very isolated place, and most of my occasional 'people' going right bloody weird ranty and more racist than ever talking about dark people getting bugs more when it not only is not true but there are no dark people for miles, i made at least half a dozen significant new friends, hung out with half a dozen wonderful kids and mums (sexist pigs) and did various wonderful new things. One 'illicit' still ongoing indeed it worked its a bloody miracle! all before last Christmas indeed most before last autumn. Plus tons of total time wasting emergency 'social work'. Time wasting as none of the range of people long thought just about sane and thoughtful and may actually DO something to assist a few being rescued from bad drink or drug nightmares...nope.... you cannot handle such tragically damaged people alone. Too much bad energy.

All bully for me, so yes, come the autumn i was so often thinking "this is such joyful absurd turn up for the books i have to write something.... i adore almost every moment... " so have. But it has to be very secret because it gives all the truth. Nothing naughty and nothing in the lightest bit 'bad' but people dont like the truth. Anyway it is very good even if it is only in poetically playing with words drifting around stage.  It will never be traceable to me unless some woman comes and breaks that 'mindfulness' rule known about all of life - even my dumb parents and their mates knew it "nothing good ever comes from rifling through someone else's private papers..."  which we must update to of course links identities etc..

Indeed having such many century understood matters of the soul well and truly aired is good old fashioned 'mindfulness' the new lot are far too high and mighty to bother figuring may also be good